Love problems, I need your help

I’m not posting often in the forum but I really need your help, I’ll be brief.

I fell in love (my first time), it didn’t work, I denied all my values to get her back, I’m ashamed of myself, I feel like shit. I can’t get over it, I’m touching madness. I have applied agopunture techniques (EFT), I have applied the energetic breathing of Sex Tao but nothing works.

Any advice? I don’t take advice like “go get her”. I swallowed my pride as a man to get her back, I would rather die than go see her.

What I want is to get back on track, to be able to continue working, I have fucking projects coming up and I don’t want to waste time on stupid love issues.

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Hello there!

@Imperatore_G3_FDPH, I’m sorry your “first love” didn’t work out the way you expected. Love is wasteful. Some people are lucky enough to get the love of their life the first time, others struggle and some don’t even find their “soul mate”. This is unfair or deserved, it depends on the opinion.

Maybe you can open your mind and your perspective to another woman. Love comes to you when you don’t expect it. However, you must be aware of something (déclic in French). There are plenty amazing women out there who are ready to give and receive love. Sometimes they aren’t all crazy at the same level (lowest :joy::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:). I mean, less annoying or undecided.

When it comes to your plans, I think you should put love on hold or take it easy — like in school, a lesson. Bet, it wasn’t easy trying to get her back, but you shouldn’t be sad throwing out your garbage because you know that you can grab it up at the dumpster. I don’t know her, but I just wanted to make you laugh and play down the situation.

I hope you will feel better as soon as possible. Act like cats: fall back on your feet.

Be Strong. Get Stronger :muscle:

Best regards.

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Hi Imperatore,

We don’t talk enough about this particular subject on DBL and in my opinion it’s a real problem because a woman can be a real catalyst in our life.

If I’m not mistaken, you want to stop thinking about her in order to concentrate on your projects and I’ve been there, I feel you.

Nevertheless, you mustn’t forget that in the first place, she fell in love with you for who you are. She fell in love with your values, your actions, your dreams, etc. Unfortunately, it turns out that she wasn’t the one like you guessed, but the real one will one day come by herself, thanks to the fact that you will be 100% yourself again.

So what I’m trying to tell you is: stay yourself, you were someone before her and you are still someone after her.

Time will make you aware of all the problems she has caused you and that for now, love is getting you passed by. Eventually one day your brightness will bring to you your soul mate.

Stay strong, life is trying to make you give up. Show her your true colours.

Yohan.

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It would be the shittiest advice anyway)

  • Give you time. That’s the most important. Dealing with that can takes months or a year if you were fully into it. Learn the skill to listen to your bad emotions and to accept it. Life is mostly about that.

  • Don’t jump into an other long term relation before being fully healed or it might leads you to toxic behaviours coming from your past relation. Take times again to heal yourself and understand what your relation implied. Because your futures loves and relations deserve that. That’s important too.

  • You will think about her anyway in everything you’re gonna do at first. That’s okay. But the more you will be doing stuff - the less you will think about her with time (and the more active you are the better you heal with time in opposite of doing nothing)

  • When feeling a little better and willing to answer your male desires you can also fuck some girls to untied your emotions step by step from this relation (cause you know… it also needs time and you will realise that other girls are great too - if not better than that girl)

Etc etc.

It’s all about time - listening to yourself - Acting and doing stuffs

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Hello Imperatore,

I don’t know in which country you’re living, but if you can get 1gr of kanna powder (Sceletium tortuosum) and drink it like a tea with some lemon juice. It’s really great at healing any type of psychic trauma.

And by the way, this is not health or medic advise from my side. Do your own research, only you are responsible of yourself blablabla…

I hope that you’ll find a way (whatever it is) to get back on track. Stay strong in the mean time :+1:

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First of all, thank you @Viktoria_G5 for taking the time to comfort me and most of all encourage me to get back on my feet. Which I did.

You know I consider myself a very lucky person, thinking about it with a clear mind, I realized that she was not the woman for me at all. We have completely different religious, financial and family views, if I was going to be with her I would have had to change who I was to fit into a box she likes.

Having been with her for a short time, a little I had to change for her, big mistake I will never make again. As of today, either a woman accepts me as I am or fuck off.

Of course I’m telling you this with a clear mind, because these last 2 weeks have been a real hell, I spent days thinking about her, self-criticism, pain…But thanks to this I’m completely reborn.

One of my mentors used to say that catastrophe is the seed for a new and wonderful beginning.

I thank God, every day for putting this woman in my path. I’ve experienced love, I’ve experienced loss, now with a smile on my face I tell you it’s the best thing that has come my way, this adventure has made me better understand what I want and what I don’t want.

Ps : I don’t even need to insult her or consider her trash, she is just a poor girl who doesn’t know how to recognize a stone from a diamond, how could I blame her ?

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Thanks @Yohan_G1 , it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken, what have you become? (let’s talk in private)

You hit the nail on the head, that’s exactly what I was thinking. When I wrote the post in the forum I felt really bad. But further on I saw this situation as a huge opportunity to understand myself better, to understand what I want and what I don’t want, to have a clearer picture of myself. And it worked. I still have a lot to learn but I was able to understand some things already.

I remain myself, that doesn’t change, only that I learn and become a better version of myself but the essence remains the same.

The few times I have tried to change my essence for external things has ended badly. In work it ended in burnout, and in personal it ended in heartbreak. So I learned my lesson, I can develop but never change my essence, never.

Haha thank you for your advice but I don’t believe much in the western/modern soulmate theory. all the greatest conquerors of this world didn’t have one woman with them but dozens, Alexander the Great, Augustus, Qin shi huang, Genghis Khan or Muhammad…

The one time I deviated from this personal belief, I ended up heartbroken. So if you believe in soul mates, I sincerely hope you find yours.

In the meantime, bro, we’re young, let’s make a maximum of experiences, dating, traveling, trying and when the good time comes, we might think about starting a family.

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Thank you so much @Manou_G4 for your excellent and pertinent practical advice. You know I was just thinking about this. Work or projects I really don’t want to hear about. I really think I need a mini vacation, fuck some chicks, smoke a good Cuban and come back as good as new.

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Thanks man, I don’t know who the fuck this powder is you’re talking about but I’m a curious guy, I know things but I know there’s so much to learn, thank you. Do you have any link or video to recommend me to watch to better understand what this powder is and its effects ? (video better in French)

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You’ll find mostly all informations there (in french). The primary traditional use is to cure PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder). I wouldn’t recommend to take this for any other usage, otherwise you could develop same symptoms as those of antidepressant users. Still, you can make a tea with some lemon juice once in a month and keep the rest for many years if you put it in the freezer.

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Hey man.

You’re young, right? 18? I think now is not the time to focus on women.

Focus on making $$$, getting fit, learning real skills. Women will come later.

Remember: women peak at 20-24yo, men peak at 34-38yo. Be patient - if you do the work, there will be a time where you will have more women than you can handle.

Then, you’ll look back to today thinking how glad you are you never married this girl.

Hope that’s helpful. Keep working

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Hello,

First of all, thank you for sharing this as it is a personal problem, it can’t be easy.

I would advise you to write down how you feel and what you think about this relationship every day at the end of your morning ritual.

Why should you write down the painful thoughts that come to you about a terminated relationship? Because writing down what’s bothering you, your dark thoughts, is a great catharsis.

By writing it down, you will feel bad during and maybe after a few minutes, but you will have gotten it out of your system for the day.

In the long run, it will help you regain emotional stability.

I sincerely hope you feel better and take good care of yourself.

Hello brother,

Actually, do not focus on love relationships. Most of them only hurts, leaves pain & regrets.

Invest in yourself, and only yourself, Give up love, and start focusing on being the best version of yourself, being productive & making cash. Having any kind of pain is like being weighted down.

Then, one day, real love will come, You won’t even see it coming, but it’ll come.

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, We’re here for you.

Keep moving foward king.

Tony

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