How to stay elegant in front of a girl acting arrogant

I am having a lot of difficulty staying elegant when a girl is acting arrogant distant to me.

I believe we all know that pain (often on tinder, but also sometimes with friend’s friend that I ask out for a date)

She doesn’t reply messages or worse: she replies with less than three words while I made effort trying to be nice/funny/interesting.

What troubles me is they always refuse to actually say « no ».

Here is what I do and I know it doesn’t work:

When a woman refused a few dates with the « I am busy that day » excuse I send here a message asking her to explicitely « say no »: « you know if you are not interested you can just refuse ».

They never ever want to actually verbalise the « no » ! They just prefer « being busy doing shit ».

Otherwise I threaten to erase her contact (and then I actually do: but I feel terrible after it): « I am going to erase your contact »

Weirdly enough these two attitudes make the reply and react (don’t take me wrong it never improves anything).

I know: I have it wrong when I ask her to « tell me no », or threaten to « erase her ».

But what is the right attitude ?



You clearly look in need when you ask for a reaction. You are showing to the girl that you are loosing your control, it is not attractive.

The best way to react is to not react, simply move on controling your emotions.

I highly advice you to watch ALL the youtube videos of L’Observateur, he helped me a lot understanding women.

Stay strong :muscle:


If I understand right: Basically there is nothing attractive to do in that situation.

The stoicism answers the question: it is elegant. But at this point it is already pointless to keep trying to be attractive

Just don’t invest energy in worthless relationship.


keep an eye on the youtube channel : Coach Red Pill He’s a guy with experience, his content is better than the observer and he speaks in English.

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Their attitude is legit. A girl who act like that does so because YOU didn’t give her a reason to act otherwise.

If she learns that you earn 10k a week and gave an orgasm to all of her friends, she’ll open like a shell.

You have to make her notice that you’re better than the 10’000 other guys asking her out. Many ways:

  • Show your power: Money, skills, fame, you name it.

  • Touch her soul: Find a weakness or something she loves and do something to exploit it.

  • Become the mvf (most valuable fucker): Fuck her bff like nobody has been fucked even in jail. Make her cum so much she’s gonna have to telle all her friends that you are a god of sex.

  • Become essential to her: This is a long term strategy. Even JeanMa despites what we call the « friendzone ». But he also agrees with me that to know how to become essential is a very powerfull skill.
    If you become really essential to her, you’ll be her more than her best friend. she’ll want to call you like everydays. There you’re gonna start to provide even more services which are gonna make you look different to her: Fruits bringin, massages, sex advices, really explicit sex advices, And theeeeeeeen you fuck her.


Never do this my friend. Apart from the fact that this a disgusting manipulation technique, it’s going to make you seem needy and insecure in their eyes. And in the mind of a girl, a needy guy is someone who’s not having a lot of girls around him, who does not have a lot of sex, who’s alone and who’s desperately seeking a woman to comfort him with his loneliness and sadness.

Put yourself in her shoes… Would you find that attractive ?

Would you find a needy and insecure guy attractive ? Or would you rather go for an emotionally and physically strong guy, who knows what he wants, who’s having dozens of girls waiting for him, and who actually wouldn’t give a fuck if you weren’t going to respond to him ?

Never put the ladies first. If you really respect yourself, you should understand one thing : you are the prize.

So stop running like a dog after b*tches and start focusing on yourself.

Act like a king and dont waste your time with these girls : if she’s not interested you can’t do anything short-term to change her mind.

Make money and invest in prostitutes instead if you’re angry to not loose your energy and your focus on you main mission.

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I agree with @YannickL_G1 (I didn’t treat this point). In other words, by reacting like that, you show her weakness. I understand you. It’s frustrating and not very respectful. But you have to put that behavior into context:

  • Most men are fucktards. They come to her with evil domination strategies like harrasment.

  • She culturally may not have the tools to tell you « no »: Unlike most girls from Africa or Eastern Europe, Occidental girls are conditionned to be « false gentles »: Never say a truth that may hurt or incomodate, never stand against someone that goes against you, never defend yourself (otherwise you’re a fucking Nazi who sodomise kittens).

  • She doesn’t gain anything by respecting your: This is the rule of the jungle. If you don’t show her your value and in the same time let her think that she has value in your eyes (trying to seduce her), she won’t have any reason to respect you (apart from being a good educated person but don’t get me started on this matter please :unamused:)

Show her your power: Show her patience, goodwilling and understanding.

Act like someone who has all the girls he wants: She doesn’t have time for you? You neither! Too bad for her.

Don’t demand, make an offer (I’m quoting Jean Marie here): You don’t want to look like you’re begging for a date. Make it look like an offer. Again, try to understand what she likes, what she needs, to make an offer that she can’t refuse.

Also, if you have a special skill SELL IT! For example: I’m a good cook. When I offer a date at my place I let know my prey that I’ll cook her the best meal ever. That my food is fucking HEAVEN!!! I play it full arrogant. But at the end of the day, she wets her panties before she finishes her plate. I also talk to them about my my « best massages ever ». But don’t lie about yours skills -> bad strategy

Be fucking sincere: Don’t be a « False gentle ». Be the FALSE BAD GUY. Tell her what you think, in the limits of goodwillness. and not in the limit of what could shock her or hurt her. She’s hot so she’s used to be treated like a precious diamond. Treat her like a human being. Like she’s your buddy. You know! That guy you talk to like that " Hey you son of a bitch! Put your thumbs out of your pretty asshole and come drinking beers with me!"

That will make a huge difference to her!


If she’s a skinny nice looking 8/10 (or more) lady, you can affectuously call her « La grosse ». That usually really turn them on. But you can only do that when she’s the only one hearing. She’s gonna tell it to her friends and they are gonna come at you with anger. You’re just gonna have to take it lightly, showing that it’s just a joke.

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Thank you for that long comment.

I love the be the « FALSE BAD GUY ».

Just for your info: I am in China (not always talking about chinese girls though). And the cultural limit that prevents them from phrasing a « no » is very strong in Asia.

Oh snap!

I spent two weeks in Vietnam and I was amazed of all those tricks they use to tell you no by saying « yes but in fact it’s complicated and it’s amazing because blablablablabla. »

PS: Yes my post was a bit long. In fact I quoted a lot of what would have saidn JM. If you buy his formation « trouve ta partenaire » You’ll have a lot more answers.