AlexN's Journal - Finding my own path

Hi everyone,

I heard that writing a journal can help moving forward in life and is a great tool to stay true to myself, so I’m opening mine. I feel that I need to do it for the following reasons :

  • Sharing some parts of my life that I no longer desire to keep for myself and being able to have a space of freedom where I can write anything I want
  • Structuring my thoughts (damn I need that so much) and having reminders
  • Being able to make regular assessments
  • Finding my own path
Context

So here is a bit of context:

I grew up in France middle class and I’m 25 right now. I was labeled early as a “smart kid” because I was doing great at school till the end of high school. I was good at writing, maths and liked school because I liked reading, books, learning, and connecting the dots between concepts and ideas.

At the same time, my social and family life was kind of a mess. I was regularly beaten by my father as a child (my relationship with him is still complicated) and grew up overweight. I was bullied at middle school because of my weight. Once, I decided to start to improve this aspect of my life with sports. Yet I also started developing eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia and used to develop dark habits like making me throwing up every time after eating. I managed to stop that by the end of high school but this past keeps haunting me sometimes and sometimes I’d rather it never happened.

Still, I developed other bad habits (snacking, porn, drugs, cigarettes, watching youtube videos compulsively and without purpose), and even if I stopped some of them cold turkey (like drugs and cigarettes, I would recommend stopping your habits progressively btw), I still struggle with others (youtube, snacking).

What I want to do with my life has always been unclear. As I was not too bad at school, I continued till I got a Master’s degree in Business. Basically, I listened to my parents’ advice “you are going to have more opportunities by taking these studies”. So I ended up working in a short-term contract job that is a mix between Customer Service and Data Analysis and I’m starting from there.

I was in Asia before the beginning of the outbreak in March 2020, working and studying. Life was pretty good and I even managed to stop smoking definitively. Then pandemic happened, I broke up, lost my job, ran out of money, got depressed, gained 20 kg, and got back to France in my parent’s house. Suddenly, life became like an endless falling loop and I felt overwhelmed. Tried to ask for help back in France but the Psychologists I contacted were too busy or said they were not able to help me dealing with my issues then I just did not have enough energy to contact dozens of them. Finally, I found this job and here I am joining Corda’s cult.

Over the past year, I’ve been stuck in a thinking loop that prevented me from acting which is: “One day you are going to have a thought which is going to tell you exactly what you want to do with your life and you will feel it is your destiny with 100% accuracy”. So I guess I was wrong and need to work by reading and experiencing stuff.

I’m sure there is a place for me in this world so I’m going to find it and take it.

I feel that Data Analysis, Management & Visualisation can lead me somewhere even if I guess there are other interesting subjects out there but I just cannot focus on ten subjects at the same time so my primary goals for this weekend are just below. I’m not Jean Marie so I must find my own path by myself otherwise I guess I would be useless in a role that does not fit me:

  • Finishing a one hour and a half class on Database creation.
  • Sketching a learning path towards mastering Data Analysis (mind map)
  • Apply to 2 jobs in this field (1 in France, 1 in Central & Eastern Europe)

Secondary goals:

  • Running once
  • Doing one muscle-weighting session (~20min)
  • Keep doing my morning rituals
  • At least 5 min meditation per day (ideally before sleep)

I’m sure I could have written higher goals or a more precise plan but those are foundations I’m setting up and hope it will help me to move towards the path I want.

“There is no point in running, you have to leave on time”.

4 Likes

#1 ASSESSMENT - MONDAY, 16th 2021

Alright so here’s my assessment after this week-end:

:white_check_mark: Goal 1: Finishing a one hour and a half class on Database creation.

Damn, it was only one hour and a half but it took me 4 hours in total because I needed to practice and pause the video every time. In this course, I learned to:

  • Create a Database (with Python script)
  • Manage a Database
  • Connect a Database to Bi tool

It was really hard to get back on track every time I paused the course. The harder part was to start (once during the weekend I even waited 2 hours just watching youtube videos purposelessly before getting back to the course).

What helped me to start again was to listen to Progressive Dance or Progressive House Music like this video there (You should listen, plus she’s a beautiful Ukrainian DJ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSM99hKSCy0&t=1322s

I tried the “science-based” music radio website’s brain.FM before but it did not help me to focus at all - the music was actually really disturbing. Then I started listening to lives like the one above or in Music Lab’s Youtube Channel and it helped me entering into the workflow smoothly and progressively. Without this music, I would just not have been able to start working. I feel also less stressed when listening to those lives.

:x: Goal 2: Sketching a learning path towards mastering Data Analysis (mind map)

Did not spare time for that. I’m rescheduling it for the next assessment next Friday.

:white_check_mark: :x:Apply to 2 jobs in Data Analysis field (1 in France, 1 in Central & Eastern Europe)

So I actually applied to 3 jobs this Monday (damn the Job search process is so painful, I really need in the long-term to develop techniques to do it, develop my own businesses/activities and understand how I can make this process less painful) but I only applied in France.

And you know what ? It took me 3 days to do it, but I managed to apply to the 3 jobs in only 30 minutes.

I actually know nothing about the job market for Data Analysis in Central & Eastern Europe and must start searching. I saw there might already be topics about it in the Forum (Praha maybe ?) and I need to delve deeper.

Goals for the next assessment (on Friday)

Primary Goals:

  • Buy a Day Board (it’s only 55$ on Amazon, I can do it)
  • Delve into the Forum to search for information about the Job market in Central & Eastern Europe and sum it up in the next assessment.
  • Sketching a learning path towards mastering Data Analysis (mind map)
  • I got an idea related to a database project. I must start sketching it…
  • Apply to 2 jobs in Data Analysis field (1 in France, 1 in Central & Eastern Europe)

Secondary goals:

  • Running once
  • Doing one muscle-weighting session (~20min) (I actually like weighting, I feel I release stress from my mind when doing it)
  • Keep doing my morning rituals
  • At least 5 min meditation per day (ideally before sleep)

Ideas:

  • I feel really attracted to pentesting. If I have some time by Friday, I’ll try following a pentesting 101 on youtube.
3 Likes

ASSESSMENT #2 - FRIDAY, 20th 2021

Hi Guys,

:desert_island: Primary Goals Review :desert_island:

:white_check_mark: Buy a Whiteboard

So here it is:

:x: Delve into the Forum to search for information about the Job market in Central & Eastern Europe and sum it up in the next assessment.

Haven’t done it. “Job market in Central & Eastern Europe” is just too broad. I don’t know where to start. Plus, what am I searching for, where do I want to go, what are the risks, and when do I plan to expatriate?

My answers

What am I searching for?

  • I am searching for a job.
  • I envision creating a business (might be towards data analysis, at least that is what I am planning rk)
  • I don’t like big cities that much

Where do I see myself in three years?

  • In three years, I am seeing myself working in a stimulating environment that involves technology and creative work. I want to be expatriated by this time.

I can do:

  • Data Analysis and Management
  • Customer Service, Account Management
  • Sales?
  • Consulting?

What are the risks?

  • I have student debt to pay back → Not being able to pay back my debt because I no longer earn enough money (I have savings so I can handle a few months without earning any money, even if I’ll do everything so that it will not happen).

What is the worst scenario?

  • I expatriate, run out of €, take the plane back to France and boom back to parent’s house.

I guess Tallin might be the city that will suit me the most. It seems really dynamic, tech-oriented, not too big, and business-friendly (the opposite of France?). I’m also thinking about one country in SEAsia, but wages are higher in Tallin and as regards my debts I cannot be paid 800€ per month right now.

Alright so for next Monday I must apply at least 2 positions in Estonia.

:x: Sketching a learning path towards mastering Data Analysis (mind map)

Haven’t done it too. I think this goal has the same kind of problem as the previous one: This goal is not SMART .

Btw, I saw that Jm criticizes school a lot. I think that the role of a school is overlooked nowadays. School teaches a lot of interesting pieces of stuff to students but it does not teach them how to exploit effectively in the real-world the knowledge they learned. Hence the creation of "practical" schools like 42 or Epitech over the past decade.

SMART is a method I learned in my Business School to help people actually reach their goals. It might lack flexibility and creativity but it is a model so you can use it as a map and be more flexible in real life.

Here is the idea: If you want to make sure to attain your goals, you must make them clear and reachable. Thus, your goals must ideally gather 5 elements: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound

Details on SMART goals
  1. Specific
  • Your goal must be specific: It must answer the five “W” questions (What do I want to accomplish? Why is this goal important? Who is involved? Where is it located? Which resources or limits are involved?.
  • If your goal isn’t specific enough, you won’t be able to focus your efforts or feel truly motivated to achieve it.
  1. Measurable
  • Your goal must be Measurable: How much? many? How will I know when it is accomplished?
  • So that you will be able to track your progress and stay motivated. Assessing progress helps you to stay focused, meet your deadlines and feel the excitement of getting closer to achieving your goal
  1. Achievable
  • Your goal needs to be realistic and attainable.
  • How can I accomplish this goal? How realistic is the goal, based on other constraints, such as financial factors?
  • Some goals like “Get a promotion” are not literally achievable, as it depends on external factors, like the recruiter’s decision. Try to focus more on "I get the experience needed to be considered promotional.
  1. Relevant
  • Does this goal matters to me? Does it also align with other relevant goals? Is this goal currently applicable given the current socio-economic environment? Does this goal is pertinent?
  1. Time-bound
  • Every goal needs a target date so that you have a deadline to focus on. This part helps prevent everyday tasks from taking priority over your long-term goals.
  • When? What can I do six months/weeks from now? What can I do today?

Let’s forget this goal right now, I first need to find a path that suits me in Data Analysis by doing projects that attract me and analyzing what I like the most.

:white_check_mark: I got an idea related to a database project. I must start sketching it…

So I got an idea this week on a project I’m going to call “T Project” and I started sketching it. This weekend, I need to define a page I need to get data from a Website page.

:white_check_mark: Apply to 2 jobs in the Data Analysis field (1 in France, 1 in Central & Eastern Europe)

From Monday I applied to 9 jobs, one of which in Praha. I’ll set 5 applications for this weekend as a goal (2 of which are in Estonia).

Goals For the next Assessment:

Primary Goals:
  • Apply to 5 jobs in the tech industry (Data Analysis, It Customer Service, Account Management…), two of which in Estonia
  • Work at least 2 hours on “T Project” → Get data from a website page on an Excel file (Web scrap)
  • I also started another project this week, which is called the “Ge5 Project”. I’ll try working around 2 hours this weekend. (Finish pp and background).
Secondary goals
  • Doing one muscle-weighting session daily (~25min) (I’m doing 4*7 right now, feel much better, don’t think I’ll start running again as I’m doing cardio during the session)
  • Keep doing my morning rituals
  • At least 5 min meditation per day (ideally before sleep)
Ideas
  • Still interested in pentesting but did not spare the time to try it, just watched a few videos on youtube
  • I would like to buy a bike and to go with it in the forest, might be fulfilling and I can pay for it. Why not.
  • I’m reading a book I’d like to sum up on a Mindmap on anxiety vs mindfulness and to share with the community
  • Got interested in GIS Analysis, hope I will be able to get to know it more.
  • I lack statistics skills. I noticed that I have difficulties designing what analysis could be done (distribution, indicators) and that is a problem because it is the core of the job. There is no point in building databases and DataViz tools if you don’t know what are analysis you want. Must work on it.

To finish this assessment I would like to remind myself of one of Corda’s advice:

Consciousness and Consistency in the effort.

Sometimes I think life’s hard but I must keep doing my efforts, stay aware and keep paying attention so that I will be able to gain power and set myself on a path to freedom.

The next Assessment will be Monday, 23th.

3 Likes

ASSESSMENT #3 - SUNDAY , 20th 2021

How do I feel this week

Overall, I feel like I’m losing too much time. I also need to sleep more.

I have difficulties in planning my tasks and in managing my projects. I don’t always know what I precisely must do when I’m working on a project. I’m on several different projects at the same, plus job-research plus my 9-5 job. I should have a clearer overview of my life and priorities.

I heard about exploiting Notion to build a task manager from scratch. I also already have Todoist on my phone for daily tasks and mindmaps to structure my thoughts.

I feel that I am in the right way and need to keep putting effort into Task management.

Btw I’m still leaving in my parents’ house and that is not helping me think clearly. I’m already working but it’s fixed-term so I’m still searching for jobs which will help me to leave this situation.

Primary goals review

:white_check_mark: :x: * Apply to 5 jobs in the tech industry (Data Analysis, It Customer Service, Account Management…), two of which in Estonia

Not that bad as I applied for 2 jobs in Estonia. I have an interview coming soon and need to prepare for it.

:white_check_mark: Work at least 2 hours on “T Project” → Get data from a website page on an Excel file

I managed to get the data I needed in a .csv file but I did not scrape it directly from a web page.

:x: I also started another project this week, which is called the “ Ge5 Project ”. I’ll try working around 2 hours this weekend. (Finish pp and background).

Did not have the time for that, too busy with the others projects.

Goals for the next Assessment:

Primary Goals
  • Build a Task Manager from Scratch with Notion
  • I have 3 interviews this week. Must go there, prepare them and try to give the best impression as possible.
  • T project: Goal this week = insert the data I extracted in a database I created
  • Ge5 Project is on stand-by for now
Secondary Goals
  • Doing one muscle-weighting session daily (~25min, 4*7 session)
  • Keep doing my morning rituals
  • At least 5 min meditation per day (ideally before sleep)
  • Try to sleep more (8hours min)
Ideas

The ideas are still the same as last week

  • Still interested in pentesting but did not spare the time to try it, just watched a few videos on youtube
  • I would like to buy a bike and to go with it in the forest, might be fulfilling and I can pay for it. Why not.
  • I’m reading a book I’d like to sum up on a Mindmap on anxiety vs mindfulness and to share with the community
  • Got interested in GIS Analysis, hope I will be able to get to know it more.
  • I lack statistics skills. I noticed that I have difficulties designing what analysis could be done (distribution, indicators) and that is a problem because it is the core of the job. There is no point in building databases and DataViz tools if you don’t know what are analysis you want. Must work on it.
3 Likes

ASSESSMENT 4# - SUNDAY, 29th 2021

SYNTHESIS OF THE WEEK + WEEKEND

How do I Feel

Tonight I’m okay because I passed 2 interviews this week and I have a feeling of progressing. I’m relieved that I am getting tools to help me stay organized. I’m still afraid of not being able to know what I decide to assign to myself and those tools seem to help. I feel I’m just at the beginning of my journey here.

Yet I feel a bit guilty because I haven’t been productive this weekend. That’s okay, I haven’t set goals for the weekend so that might be why I haven’t done anything. Damn when I don’t assign tasks and set goals to myself, I just end up being addicted to youtube and the Internet. I’m so predictable haha.

I visited my grandma as I do every weekend, thanks to you for being here at those times. She said I look better and I definitely look better - actually, I’m a lot more muscular than two weeks ago. I’m experiencing building muscle for the first time and that’s really nice.

Plot twist: I have found my mission?!!

I got a sudden thought this weekend: My mission on earth is to provide intelligible and useful information in a creative way to people I care about, to use it to improve myself and people I care about spiritually, intellectually, and physically.

I guess that connects with what I’m doing right now - compiling data, summarizing it, and creating interesting stuff which is going to give insights easily to the reader.

Primary Goals Review

:white_check_mark: Build a Task Manager from Scratch with Notion

Better than that: I got a template from this guy from Youtube (he has an Information Systems degree, which might be partly why he’s great at building notion’s templates)

Notion Masterclass: Build a Task Manager from Scratch

I saw another video that might be interesting from this guy here - he’s gonna drop his template by tomorrow (in French).

Votre gestionnaire de tâches et de projets avec Notion (Partie 1)

:white_check_mark: I have 3 interviews this week. Must go there, prepare them and try to give the best impression as possible.

I did two of them, the third was cancelled because somebody else was hired before.

:x: T project: Goal this week = insert the data I extracted in a database I created

Nope, I tried but I spent too much time trying to perfect queries with pandas & sqlite3 instead of actually finishing a task I could have done in maybe max 2 hours. Try again from tomorrow.

GOALS FOR THE NEXT ASSESSMENT

Primary Goals
  • Repairing the “done” button of my keyboard - I tried to do it by myself this weekend but it did not end up well haha.
  • Job Search: Apply to 5 jobs
  • T Project: Insert data from .csv to .db file
  • Ventnet n°1 (new Project): Buy & Start following Protocol 27
  • Time-Management: Try improving the Task Management tool from Notion.
On Stand-by
  • Geo5 Project
Secondary Goals
  • Doing one muscle-weighting session daily (~25min, 4*8 session → I raised the time for exercising, I’m getting better at this)
  • Keep doing my morning rituals
  • At least 5 min meditation per day (ideally before sleep)
  • Try to sleep more (8hours min)
Ideas - too many, don't know what to do right now with this section.
  • Still interested in pentesting but did not spare the time to try it, just watched a few videos on youtube
  • I would like to buy a bike and to go with it in the forest, might be fulfilling and I can pay for it. Why not.
  • I’m reading a book I’d like to sum up on a Mindmap on anxiety vs mindfulness and to share with the community
  • Got interested in GIS Analysis, hope I will be able to get to know it more.
  • I lack statistics skills. I noticed that I have difficulties designing what analysis could be done (distribution, indicators) and that is a problem because it is the core of the job. There is no point in building databases and DataViz tools if you don’t know what are analysis you want. Must work on it.

BRIEF WORDS BEFORE THE END OF THE SESSION

My keywords: Discipline, Consistency, Efforts, Continuous Improvement/Kaizen, Vision, Mission.

Stay focus, simple, humble. Master a skill. Don’t take things too seriously. Enjoy. Don’t be afraid to sell. Just do it. Work. Use your energy wisely. Assign tasks to yourself. Set high goals. Take responsibilities.

NB for myself: Next Time try to set yourself clearly a vision, a mission, and values.

Alex_G5.

Màj 30/08/2021: I am used to be easily distracted on my computer and my phone while working and I tried many solutions to solve that (software/ web extensions that block your access to a specific URL, regular meditation sessions). Lately, I’ve been trying to turn off a color filter from the settings of my phone/computer and I felt like it is easier to resist the urge of distraction and to maintain control. Thus, I’m recommending doing it.

In your computer: Just go to settings → color filters → Turn off color filters

In my phone (I have a Crosscall which in Android-based) : Go to options for developers → Manual acceleration → simulate color blindness

3 Likes

ASSESSMENT 5# - THURSDAY, 4th NOVEMBER 2021

Just a quick update as I haven’t been there for a while - I am pausing this right now.

I left my parent’s house a few weeks ago, and I am living alone in a small flat right now. I am still working in Data Analysis.

I am finally leaving France in five months and relocating to Belgium. There might have been other places to settle but I took the opportunity anyway as it was interesting.

2 Likes
  • Early morning
  • I have nothing
  • To refuse
  • To the Muse :heartpulse:

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