It’s an interesting topic, I may say some basic stuff but it’s better than not talking about the whole subject. I will first talk about what you can do as friends, and after about the possibility of a personal incapacity.
First of all, it’s a personal choice, and even if you have the duty as friends to help him, you can not impose yourselves. He needs to know that you are not against him, and you just want to show something that you value and think that can be really beneficial.
You could for example put yourself in his position, understand that his fears are “normal”
If he has no experience, he has no idea what can happen.
In addition, wouldn’t you feel ashamed if your first time was by pressure of your friends, and you have nothing to do with the result ? (flirting with a girl and having a good night is not the same thing as paying a prostitute, you’ve not done anything to “deserve it”)
I don’t have any problem with prostitution, but it might not be the best solution for a first time.
I think it’s interesting if he is not confident enought and he wants to gain experience, but it’s not the case from what I understood
Explain that his fears come from biological and social rules.
The unknown always makes us scared, or doubtful. (I don’t know if he’s really scared or it’s more an argument so you just let him live as he wants)
It’s a social idealisation mixed with an animal desire to have the best kids possible. The idea of the perfect loyal couple arrived so that the man took care of the women and the children and didn’t ignore them.
As I already said, don’t be pushy (even if it is the first thing we want to do) he needs time and it has to come from him, otherwise he will feel bad with himself and with you guys. Changing a life perspective it’s not easy stuff and takes a lot of work.
(He can change, but he will never have a vision “as extreme” as yours)
- WIIFM - Show him what it can bring him
He will be better for the real one. More experience means better control of how it goes, and it’s better to fail with someone you don’t really care about than with the love of your life.
He’ll be a better husband. A lot of guys are loyal too soon, and don’t have enough experiences. That makes them have a fear of missing out, of not having seen enough, and they destroy their relationship one way or another.
You may not be enough, it’s a possibility. You might be afraid of dying alone and that’s why you protect yourself with the idea that “you are waiting for the real one”
Some things to prepare:
Be Confident enough to be able to talk to girls & do not fear the unknown, a challenge could be of talking to 1 girl per day during 1week/month.
Idealisation, recognise that perfection does not exist, it can be good but won’t be as you want. Life does not turn around you (It’s hard to accept)
The other possibility is that you just don’t want, I would only remind you of the WIIFM
I would encourage him to go to parties with girls and improve his social skills instead of paying a prostitute. (And don’t pay one from behind as in the films, he will hate you for it)
Everyone is different, and he might not have the same needs & wants as you.
As friends you should encourage him to discover new parts of himself, but do not force him to be someone he is not. He will feel bad about himself or to you.
I hate to admit it, but he might prefer not to listen to logic and to go with his feelings, in this position you can only listen to him and try to encourage him to do what will make him happy.
I personally think that it’s ok if it’s a choice, it is not if it’s from fear.
Tell us what finally happens,
From a brother that wants the best for you
Hope this helps,
@Chick_Norris I don’t think that is the number of girls you’ve fucked that makes you a man.
The ideal of the “gentilhomme” is pretty loyal, and it does not make him less of a man.
Of course, as I already said, if it’s by fear or as you say
we have a problem and have to do something.